I have discovered a rather disturbing aspect of my personality. I seem to want to be noticed. I want to have praise lavished on my every accomplishment. Evidently I have never gotten past the three year old's need to be the center of attention.
This seems a bit out of kilter for a person who is shy and rather anti-social. In a crowd I prefer to hide in the shadows and not be seen by anyone. When I meet new people I find it difficult to make eye contact, and the conversation is awkward at best.
Yet when I'm not face to face with anyone, I want my e-mails, my comments, my blogs to be acknowledged, preferably favorably. I don't take criticism well. When I don't get any responses, I feel ignored and somewhat hurt, and frankly that bothers me. I shouldn't care if anyone, or no one makes a fuss over what I've said or done! Yet I do, in a rather perverse sort of way.
I shouldn't need to be noticed. If I were where I should be, especially as a Christian, I would not want my light to shine, but rather, I would want Jesus to shine through me. He should be seen more than I.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
As a child
About 18 years ago I was taking a road trip with my family. My youngest son was in the back seat, and to keep him entertained we gave him a radio with head phones.
After a while I heard him humming and laughing, which made me a bit curious as to what he had found to listen to. I asked him if I could hear, and he handed me the ear phones.
I don't know what I was expecting, but what I heard took my breath away. My little three year old son was listening to classical music, Bach to be exact. And he was humming and laughing and moving to the music. It was amazing, and a little humbling.
Why?
Children learn what we teach them, but in this case, I had not had the chance to listen to the classical music that I love so much for several years. We didn't have a stereo at home, so the only music he was actually exposed to was in the car between the grocery store and home, and that was usually rock and roll. On his own he found a radio station that played music that he liked, and it wasn't rock and roll, or country, or jazz, it was classical.
Without the outside influence of all the ugly, loud, brash noise that permeates the airwaves this one child chose the pure tones and melodies of the Classics. It made me wonder if innocent children were not exposed to all the trash on TV and the radio today, would they choose beauty over garbage? Would they choose the things that are pure over those things that are ugly and evil? Would they choose God over sin?
Is it only when a person reaches that age of accountability that we choose sin because of our first ancestor?
Actually as I'm writing this I'm about to fall asleep so this blog might not make a whole lot of sense. I'm not even certain about why I felt compelled to write this!
But I would like to think that Jesus saw the innocence and purity of the little children and saw they would choose good if they were not influenced by any outside stimuli, and maybe that's why He said that except we become as little children, we cannot enter into the kingdom...
After a while I heard him humming and laughing, which made me a bit curious as to what he had found to listen to. I asked him if I could hear, and he handed me the ear phones.
I don't know what I was expecting, but what I heard took my breath away. My little three year old son was listening to classical music, Bach to be exact. And he was humming and laughing and moving to the music. It was amazing, and a little humbling.
Why?
Children learn what we teach them, but in this case, I had not had the chance to listen to the classical music that I love so much for several years. We didn't have a stereo at home, so the only music he was actually exposed to was in the car between the grocery store and home, and that was usually rock and roll. On his own he found a radio station that played music that he liked, and it wasn't rock and roll, or country, or jazz, it was classical.
Without the outside influence of all the ugly, loud, brash noise that permeates the airwaves this one child chose the pure tones and melodies of the Classics. It made me wonder if innocent children were not exposed to all the trash on TV and the radio today, would they choose beauty over garbage? Would they choose the things that are pure over those things that are ugly and evil? Would they choose God over sin?
Is it only when a person reaches that age of accountability that we choose sin because of our first ancestor?
Actually as I'm writing this I'm about to fall asleep so this blog might not make a whole lot of sense. I'm not even certain about why I felt compelled to write this!
But I would like to think that Jesus saw the innocence and purity of the little children and saw they would choose good if they were not influenced by any outside stimuli, and maybe that's why He said that except we become as little children, we cannot enter into the kingdom...
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